My Correspondence


 



 Since I have placed my program on the Internet back in December 2005 I responded to all the requests for additional help. However, earlier this year I began to realize that I was receiving, at times, as many as fifty emails a day, and the pressure has begun to take its toll. I reluctantly came to the conclusion of placing some of the emails on this page. Most questions are already answered in the body of the program. Before addressing your question in email please read this entire page. It very well might be that you will find the answer by reading of these two pages.

I am saying this because every day I see several emails saying something like this: “I have been feeling down for the last two weeks. Could it be a depression? I haven’t spoken to the doctor yet. I don’t have much time. Can you give me some advice?”
I regret that I am unable to reply to Emails of that sort. I do hope that people with real clinical depression will understand it and will forgive me.

Dana Kutkayte


P. S.
I understand everyone's concerns about such sensitive issues as health related subjects. I have permission of my respondents for every quote published here. I have changed their names to initials.

D. K

 

Dear Dana!
I have just ordered and read your program. I have had a depression for 4 years now and all antidepressants & other treatments options have failed. I’ve been on Prozac for about 5 month, seeing no result, my physician switch me to Zoloft, now he is talking about trying Paxil. My question to you: In your e-book you are skeptical about frequent change of antidepressants, putting an equation mark between them. Keeping in mind my personal experience I’m kind of agree with you. However it is reducing treatment options, making me depressed even more.
Thanks.
J.

Hello J!
Thank you for visiting my site and thank you for purchasing my e-book. About you question:
There is not much difference between Paxil, Zoloft, and Prozac. They all belong to SSRI group of antidepressants with the only difference in Manufacturer and Severity of Side effects. I think I emphasized it in my e-book. There are some more to that bucket: Lexarpo, Selexa, Fluvoxamine.
If you’ve tried one SSRI medicine and after 3-5 weeks didn’t feel any difference there is no point to continue with it or switch for another SSRI. Effect will be similar or even identical. By the way I don’t think that you didn’t feel any difference at all comparing to SSRI Free State. Most likely it was some very small difference, which of course was much below of your expectations. And that fact is making you depressed even deeper. Your physician simply doesn’t know what to do and how to help you. That’s where chain of Paxil-Zoloft-Selexa etc. coming from. I’d have suggested sticking with SSRI that your are currently on and starting exercising other treatment options I providing in my depression cure plan.
Regards.
D. K.

Hello Dana!
Thank you for your prompt response.
Another question: “A Pumping Iron Option”. My physician is advising some sport activity, but nothing heavy: Medium Weights, Reasonable distances. I’ve had zero experience in bodybuilding, but everything you are offering definitely is going much above moderation. I am a little bit anxious of any kind of extremities. I am anxious even more now since I am trying to get off Zoloft. My blood pressure is elevated; also I feel some irregular hart beets. Is lifting & pumping really that important or I can substitute it with something else?
Thanks.
J

Hello again!
About your question:
No, you can’t substitute free weights room with other workout establishments. Your depression is not only chemical imbalance in your brain. It is a hormonal deficiency as well. By lifting weight almost at maximum of your ability you are doing sort of hormonal therapy. Your body is starting to produce testosterone and other important hormones essential for your mental health.
The first thing your physician is caring about is his liability, and you are lucky if your health condition is a second important subject for him. You can’t imagine how much resource your body has indeed. Don’t be afraid to push yourself over the moderation level. Just watch you heartbeat rate and have sufficient pauses between sets of exercises.
Regards.
D. K

Hello Dana,
Have shared a similar experience to yours and many other depression sufferers trying everything. After dealing with the side effects of many medications and physician incompetence to prescribing more of the same I made the decision to treat my depression naturally, about a year ago. During this period I’ve made a lot of progress. The problem is that I’m still in a “Blues Mode”, even though my depression is at a somewhat lower more tolerable level. This is not an issue about $20; during last year I’ve spend quite enough buying remedies and materials on Internet. Some of them contain valuable information indeed, some are practically useless. Don’t take it personally, but before you’ll charge my credit card I want to address you some questions.

Your answers will immediately show me your understanding of depression, your point of view on depression medications and your diligence in depression treatment.
1. Can someone build up tolerance to SSRI antidepressants so that they stop working after a while? It’s seems to me that after been on Paxil for about 6-7 months (and really feeling the difference) I’ve stopped feeling that medicine is really works for me. Trivial suggestion from physiatrists I’ve seen is: Increase a Dose. What are your thoughts?
2. What should you look for in a doctor? How can you tell if he/she really understands my condition?
3. Isn't there a simple test to determine if a person has depression?

With respect.
M.

Hello M!
Thank you for visiting my site.
Here are my thoughts about subjects you are asking:

1. As of my knowledge tolerance to SSRI antidepressants is very rare phenomenon. What looks like tolerance may develop because the SSRIs also have effects on the dopamine systems of the brain, and these effects can slow one down dramatically. When an SSRI seems not to be working as well as it once did, it often can be helped to work once again by increasing dosage of the medicine. This is the easiest traditional option and your doctor doesn’t reinvent the weal advising you to do so. I went through that; most of the people I’m chatting with also have been given similar advice.
However I have a different judgment about relationship between SSRI and human brain. After some 3-4 weeks from starting active SSRI treatment a depression patient starts feeling a relief, a brake through. It can be huge improvement, can be tiny change. Then, after some time (most of the cases) patient is changing an attitude, a perception of SSRI. What was considered yesterday as panacea, a magic pill doesn’t really fit to this role today. He wants more improvement, more relive, he wants quickly to regain that almost forgotten absolute healthy feeling of body and soul. And here lies the problem:
SSRI can help you in your initial attempt to defeat your depression. It will never finish the job. Your depression is much more complicated matter than simple serotonin deficiency. So after you’ve gained back some healthy feelings and some confidence this is your job and your responsibility to make that job completed. A ‘go up’ with SSRI intake will give you nothing but frustration. It will produce only disbelief if anything could be done with your depression. And even more that that, there are a lot of evidence that with to much of SSRI could be as ineffective as too little. Based on all my experience and research my strong conviction is: combination of SSRIs and tricyclics will be most effective treatment for your depression.


2. If you are looking for a psycho pharmacologist to prescribe you medications to help control your depression there are no real necessity to go crazy looking, comparing, analyzing etc. Location suitability and convenient time should be only priorities. Only you, not your health care professional will analyze your condition.
Only you will decide to what direction you should move treating your depression. My e-book, other holistic healthcare materials are tremendous help in that matter. If you are looking for real psychotherapy, for real specialist in that area your task is much more complicated. Looking back, sharing with you my experience I can only say: I haven’t found a single one what ever method I was using in my search. I’ve had seen 3 or 4 (lost my count in anger and frustration) from book of the best doctors in my state.
Following my fiends advises was in a waiting list of 3 specialists from 6 weeks to 6 months. In every new occasion when I was asking him/her about their understanding of depression, their beliefs about the causes of depression and their philosophy of treatment I haven got an answer really up to my concept of this illness. There are many reasons for that: Doctor has busy schedule, Doctor is not up to your problems at this particular moment, Doctor is kind of old, so he is using cliché of depression treatment formatted 30-40 years ago etc. One major thing you should understand: no one but you will better know your sensations, you feelings, your problems. Finalizing my answer to your second question: use common sense in your search for depression specialist. Read every day as much as possible about depression. Combine together everything your have read with everything your doctor has said you and create your own approach to depression treatment. You will succeed, trust me.


3. Depression simple test. Unfortunately at this point and as of my knowledge there is not such test. There are no depression bacteria or virus we can identify, nor do we have any kind of blood or lab test to determine if a person has depression. Until we learn more, all we have to go on are an individual’s symptoms. Treating depression is all about treating the symptoms, rather than the underlying disease.
I hope it will help.
Regards,
D. K.


Hello Dana!
Just to let you know that I got your e-book and I liked what I read, just knowing the fact that it is possible to get over it.
Have a question.
The last thing I am up to now is going to the gym and start exercising. Do you have any suggestions how to get started? I know that numerous studies have found exercises work as effective as antidepressants. But theory is one thing, practically it is not easy to begin and even harder to keep going.
Thanks.
P.

Hello P!
Thank you for visiting my site and thank you for purchasing my e-book.
I would have probably replied to you with a trivial “Start with a five minute walk” or something like that. Most of the depression treatment sources advising on that manner.
But from my experience I know it will bring you nothing but more depression. What you need is a REAL WORKOUT. So think about yourself as a private who’ve just been drafted to military and his sergeant at the same time. Kind of bipolar Disorder but on different, healthy way. So let the sergeant to give you an order: Stand up and go! Go, doesn’t matter what. So there will be no any other option but to follow an order. You will be amazed how soon you will become addicted to that drug – exercises. It will restore your sleep, will raise your energy levels, will generate endorphins, will boost serotonin levels, and will stimulate new brain cell growth.
Rigards.
D.K


Hello Dana!
I’ve been diagnosed with clinical depression 5 years ago. Been on and off Zoloft, Paxil, tried Pamelor and Amitriptyline. Also tried Saint Johns Wort. Occasionally I am taking Melatonin or Valerian Root for sleep improvement. It is going up and down, but unfortunately I still couldn’t regain that healthy feeling I’ve had before this major episode. I am not suicidal or anything of this sort, working, and have a perfect family.
I am enjoying tennis, fishing, camping. But for all those years I still have “My Depression with me” Some days it is almost not noticeable, some days (especially rainy days) are really bad. Browsing your web site I see that you’ve put a lot of effort to overcome your depression. It is definitely much more comparing to me. Do you have some kind of advice how to beat this thing?
Thank you for your time.
V.

Hi V!
Thank you for visiting my site.
The problem lies in our ............. mind. Let’s See.
Every human (if he is healthy in general, until some serious health crises will hit him) has following perception of all illnesses:
First category:
the easiest; like common cold or something of that sort. We all know that with broad availabilities of over the counter medicine we’ll be OK in 5-7 days. We’ll be OK even without any medicine! Our immune system will restore a healthy condition.
Second category:
like ear infections, bronchitis, asthma, some illnesses which require minor surgery. We know that with proper treatment we’ll be OK in a month or so.
And finally the
Third category:
with all God forbids cancers, diabetes, cardiovascular illnesses etc. We know that only by mobilizing all our resources, by finding a proper treatment we have a chance for cure and perspective of survival in many cases.

When I am reading emails like yours I see that many simply don’t realize where depression has been situated on that scale of severity. Some are positioning it within first category. Some are sure that with the right pills it could be fixed in a month. My first advice – you should realize that depression may be one of the worst illnesses we know. Yes, it is not that bad as dubieties or cancer. Yes, it is highly treatable. However finding what works may involve weeks or months - and sometimes even years - of frustration and heartbreak, but with the range of choices we now have, your prospects are excellent if you will change your perception of the depression and your attitude toward it. Depression treatment is a full-time job, not a part-time.
With respect.
D. K.
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Hello Dana!
I have downloaded your e-book yesterday. It contains for sure a lot of helpful materials.
And also your non-traditional approach to many trivial things is quiet interesting.
At the same time many aspects of your cure plan look kind of odd to me. For example I can’t imagine myself going to the gym and exercising when for me everything is an effort. Getting up, doing anything, hygiene, cleaning. Every time I think of doing something there is a moment of panic and sadness and then I have to force the action. It feels like my whole life is spent walking against the tide in the ocean but this is both physically and mentally. I do all right most of the time except for my days off, holidays and winter.
Thanks for listening.
G.

Good evening G!
Thank you for purchasing my e-book.
Yes! This is exactly what you need -to force the action. You must tell to yourself - Just stand up and go! If you can’t do it, ask some one from your household to do it for you. Make a friend with someone miserable like you and do it together. I guarantee that at the end of third week you’ll be feeling much better. The first two weeks are the most difficult. You must pass trough these weeks something like on a cruise control. Don’t look inside your self, don’t ask yourself: “Am I better off? Or Still no changes? The changes will come.
Regards.
D. K.

Hello Dana! Thanks for prompt response.
I probably look to you kind of annoying but I am still not convinced how it supposes to work. I think with my depression I am already under huge stress. Would it be good idea to put myself even under bigger stress? All of the traditional sources are advising relaxation, meditation, and some other things of that sort. Can moderate exercise (20-30 minutes of walking per day) be effective in treating depression?
Thanks for listening.
G!

Hello G!
I am not against relaxation, meditation and other things of that sort. I think I am emphasizing it clearly in a cure plan. However major idea - is doing so on an alternate base with substantial physical workout. The goal is simple: Make your self physically tired as reasonably possible (and I don’t think that 30 minutes of walking can do the job done). After that you body will be desperate for recuperation, so at this point you should turn to meditation and relaxation. The therapeutic effect of such combination will be colossal.
Regards.
D. K.
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Hello Dana!
I have been suffering from depression for more than 20 years. I couldn’t say that I am suicidal or anything of that sort. Depression is affecting my everyday life to some extend, but I can’t say it is devastating. Been living with depression for so many years I’ve learn how to manage (how to pacify) this ugly creature. I have been trying numerous antidepressants, hypnosis. I have been trough countless sessions with quiet a few psychiatrists. (None of them had helped me). At one moment I was closed to trying electroconvulsive therapy, something stopped me from doing that. I have spend long hours in the library trying to find something about my condition. Internet had provided unprecedented access to knowledgebase in this area. But the more I read the bigger my desperation. In a couple of statements it would be like:
"It’s in your genes",
“It’s an unfixable chemical imbalance in your brain"
And worst of all
"Once you've got depression, you've got it for life.

I want to ask your opinion about these three pessimistic statements.
Thank you very much.
W

Hello W!
Thank you for visiting my site.
This is my answer to your three pessimistic statements in five words:

None of these are true.

1. Concept of chemical imbalance in one’s brain as a reason for depression at this point is a medical assumption with high probability. And if it is so (most likely it is) chemical imbalance is reversible. It is a proven fact.
2. I always was (and still I am) skeptical about conclusion that depression came to me with specific genetic code.
3. Statement that depression is once and for life is even more baseless. It is highly treatable illness.
Regards.
D. K.

Hello Dana,
Thanks for encouraging reply.
But after trying so many things I am just kind of don’t know what/where/how.
Thanks.
W.

Hello again!
The major problem is that most of the depression sufferers (and you are not an exception) are looking and desperately waiting for some sort of Magic Pill. They don’t understand that the major force, major source of power to heal their depression is inside them. So instead analyzing how bad I am and looking for negative statements on the Internet everyone who wants to beat his depression should ignore it, should pretend that they don’t have a depression and should repeat following at least couple of time a day:
I know that I MUST exercise and stay away from caffeine and sugar. I KNOW that I must learn to let go of my fears and worries about things that I have no control over anyway. I KNOW that I must learn how to deal with people that cause me anxiety. There is so much I already KNOW, and knowledge is power, but I also have to learn to practice these techniques every day rather than just when the anxiety has gotten the best of me. I KNOW I can do it, I KNOW I am capable, I KNOW I will do this for myself!
Regards.
D. K.
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Hello Dana!
I was looking for some help and have found your site.
I think my husband is severely depressed. Our family friend (physician with 20 + years of experience) has same opinion and strong advice for him to see a treatment. It is going up and down for more than two years now. At this point he is refusing to go to depression specialist and ask for some help. I think to be officially diagnosed with depression is the most painful aspect for him. Also he doesn’t want to speak about it much. He had stopped watching our favorite comedy shows long ago. Nothing seemingly can cheer him up. The only thing he is having interest in is a History Channel. He can stare at TV screen for hours watching same documentary over and over again. When I am looking at standard depression tests it is seems to me that everything written there is about my husband. I am just looking for some advice to do you have for women who think the man in their life is depressed?
Thank you.

Hello U!
Thank you for visiting my site.
I think women are one of the greatest unrecognized forces in men's depression treatment. About 40% of men who have downloaded my e-book did so because their loved ones insisted do to so. They are what I call women-mandated downloads. My message to women is to stand up to this disorder. It is no favoring to anybody to let a man continue on in this much pain and therefore wreak this much havoc on other people. You have the right to do that, and yes, it may be rocky getting him to start, but once he has started with proper treatment you’ll be amazed about his progress. So, step up to the plate and help him.
Regards.
D. K.
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Hi Dana!
I need an advice in such delicate subject as my sex life.
My husband's parents died accidentally about two years ago. I see how depressed he’s become ever since. We now have no sex life; it's been a year since we last made love. Every time I try to talk to him about our problem, he denies that anything is wrong. I think he is clinically depressed. I have pleaded with him to go to counseling with me, and he refuses. Could depression shut someone down in this way without any other symptoms?
Looking forward.
P.

Hello P!
Thank you for visiting my site.
Answering your question:
Depression can significantly reduce sexual desire. It is happening to some extend to almost every depression sufferer (Men and women alike). However it is highly unlikely that lock of libido would be single alarming symptom of clinical depression, unless your husband is hiding them unbelievably good. Here is what I would have suggested:
At this point you don’t know for sure is it a result of depression that your husband abandon you sexually or he is deeply depressed because he is having some problem with physiological part of sex. It could be erectile dysfunction, ejaculation difficulties, premature ejaculation and other things of this sort. Try to figure out what is it. One evening engage him in “your game” where will be no way to escape. So after that ‘test’ you will know at least “what and why”. Practice indicate that in most of the cases depressed man (even severely depressed) still can perform very well sexually. Don’t take it personally, the problem is that most of them have lock of desire toward “legitimate objects” if I can call so wives and girlfriends. It is not unusual when sexually abandoned (totally or partially) wife has found her depressed husband vigorously masturbating before monitor while switching one XXX site for another.
So, this is my two cents.
I hope you’ll restore a harmony in your family.
Regards.
D. K.

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Hello Dana!
My name is H, I am 84 years old. I have lost my husband recently and ever since feel kind of moody. I’ve spoke to my physician that it very well might be a beginning of clinical depression. And is it appropriate to start taking antidepressants before the illness will progress? He is dismissing all my symptoms, saying it is a normal part of aging.
What is your opinion?
Thank you very much for your time.
H.

Hello H!
Thank you for visiting my site.
Depression in the Elderly. Here are my thoughts about it.
There is a mistaken idea that it is normal for the elderly to feel depressed. I think that older people feel satisfied with their lives. Depression in the elderly, undiagnosed and untreated causes needless suffering for the family and for the individual who could otherwise live a fruitful life. When he or she does go to the doctor, the symptoms described are usually physical, for the older person is often reluctant to discuss feelings of hopelessness, sadness, loss of interest in normally pleasurable activities, or extremely prolonged grief after a loss.
Recognizing how depressive symptoms in older people are often missed, many health care professionals are learning to identify and treat the underlying depression. They recognize that some symptoms may be side effects of medication the older person is taking for a physical problem, or they may be caused by a co-occurring illness. If a diagnosis of depression is made, treatment with medication and/or psychotherapy will help the depressed person return to a happier, more fulfilling life. Recent research suggests that brief psychotherapy (talk therapies that help a person in day-to-day relationships or in learning to counter the distorted negative thinking that commonly accompanies depression) is effective in reducing symptoms in short-term depression in older persons who are medically ill. Psychotherapy is also useful in older patients who cannot or will not take medication. Efficacy studies show that late-life depression can be treated with psychotherapy.
Regards.
D. K.